Just say N0 to the JUDGE

I like to think that I try and teach my kids to think with their hearts and not their brains…(if you get what I mean). Just the other day there were these 2 older women in a shop and they were staring at my daughter ( in a not so nice way), then they said something to each other and looked at me, literaly in my eyes and looked at me as if they were trying to figure out something. My husband is Asian and I am white, so maybe they were prejudice or maybe they dident like kids…I don’t know, but it tore my heart out, and I can’t help but to think what they were saying and thinking. Living in England as an American, believe it or not, there are alot of people that do not want us here, they give us dirty looks and say extremely rude things, not even caring if we can hear them and they are usually looking right at you as well. So yes, I agree w/ you…it dosent matter who you are or how much money you have, etc. we are all the same when you strip us of our material things and that’s how we should treat each other. oh and P.S. …..don’t listen to the few groutchy people that comented on here…maybe they were having a bad day too???….

this is an amazing post and soo inspirational. This picture made me want to cry.

nicely put.
you can never know what led to that moment in time…..life just happens.
there is no dress rehearsal. Live now.

I read this blog after watching “The Blindside”. WOW to be like that family and not to judge and to give to others so selflessly. You got a wrap on that Denise just like that family did!! Leading with your heart can open up so many possibilities! Thank you for opening up our eyes! We all have struggles. Lets remember that.

Are YOU judging the girl and her mom!!! Maybe the mom was telling her daughter to shush,you don’t know…. I don’t mean to be mean to you,because I am your fan.

Maybe you didn’t hear the mom, or maybe the mom is about to lose her job…or worse: she thinks her husband is cheating on her with a woman who is, well, bigger than her… Maybe. Just maybe.

A woman at work today ( a woman coming in I should say) asked me during the assessment if I heard voices or saw things that other people don’t see (because she had just answered yes to both of those questions when I asked her). I told her no and she said I must think she’s crazy. I told her no that it could happen to anyone. You are right. Everyone has a story.
In my line of work we can’t judge, we don’t. No one will trust you if you do…it’s a good way to raise the kids. They know I work with people who think I am God and people who think they are pregnant by Jesus and they just accept that those people have some different ideas about things.
Good soap box talk.

Amen! Thanks for your post. Everyone has his or her own story/burden to bear. I think the exact same thing when someone is rude to me…they must be unhappy about something. Maybe it’s trivial like they got a paper cut or maybe bigger like they just received bad news about something. You just never know.

Amen, sister. I am always telling people to not be so quick to judge; you have no idea what happened to someone 30 seconds before they came into contact with you. We are ALL struggling with grief in some way – it’s always best to spread love and kindness no matter what. And my NUMBER ONE motto in life: be ever grateful.

Oh gosh I teach my kids the same thing! You never know what is going on in someone elses’ life so you need to be kind and understanding to everyone…even if they are not so nice. I wish some people would see that everything they do as parents affects the adult their children will become.

Denise, what a wonderful topic to post on – seriously, it is SO IMPORTANT to teach your children this. I applaud you… you are a wonderful mother who knows just the right things to teach your children – Happy Mothers Day to you!

Just wanted to say that I really, really liked this post……………

I actually just had this conversation with a group of friends at dinner group last night, very ironic! I think these times are calling for people to re-examine their life and be more understanding and loving to others! Great post:)

Love this post, Denise! We all need to be reminded from time to time, as I think we all probably judge in some way or another. My heart is always saddened as we leave Riley for the interstate, as there is one particular intersection where there is always a homeless vet camped out. Sometimes I think that just making eye contact and smiling can make a difference to someone who is down on their luck. It’s so much easier to look the other way. You have a heart of gold!

Thank you so much for the post Denise….

I have been going through some health issues again and the uncertainty of what is going on drives me nuts. Its so hard to be upbeat every second of every day. Some woman said you need to smile the other day to me and I just looked at her and said if you only knew what I am facing right now WHY would you smile. Thank you so much for the reminder. We can’t judge a book by a cover that is for sure………….THANKS AGAIN SO MUCH…..

Great post, Denise!

(Did you cry watching Lost? Can you believe we are so close to the end?!)

ok, i love the pictures…but it pretty much means my girls have no chance at the cover girl still love the pics tho

Thank you! I love the last line of your blog tonight. Your exact quote needs to be in a book on how to raise children.

Your such a good example for all of us. I think it is human nature to judge people to some degree…and I think to some degree it is necessary…Is this person safe?…Is this the kind or crowd I should be hanging with?…etc. The instinct to judge does not justify cruelty though, caution perhaps in some instances, but not cruelty. And your right that we need to teach our children the importance of compasion and understanding. I am shocked at how cruel people can be…ecspecially teenagers. I’m sure your boys will follow the example you clearly have set for them.

I do believe this may be my favorite post I’ve ever read of yours Denise. thank you.

Love your take on this and soooo hope that more Moms, Dads, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, teachers,… WHOEVER will work to instill this message in the kids of today. Look at the love & peace in that dog’s face by the way — pure contentment and non-judgment:). We humans make things far too difficult sometimes, don’t we!?!

A very close friend of mine for 20 years, taught me that same lesson. She was the guidance counselor at our school, where we had worked together for 20 years. There was this one lady, who always came in rude, edgy, almost mean acting, we all, including me, had learned how to avoid her, and complain about her attitude. One day Linda happened to be in the office when this lady came in, we all were doing our “talk”, Linda loving said to all of us, “known of you know what her life is about. She is a single mom, husband in jail, lost her job, and abused as a child, not to mention, had no car”!!! Wow. I was lucky to have a loving family to grow up in, everyone doesn’t have that blessing, we are all one tweek away from this lady’s siuation. I never forgot it. Sorry for the long post.

Good blog. I would only add to everyone has a story to tell……….and deserves caring compassionate people to share their story with.

So very true–well said Denise!