Ok, it might be a another blah, blah, blah post but sometimes I think about a lot. A lot of random junk. Random crazy junk that keeps me up all night. Every night.
The past couple months nothing puts me to sleep. Nothing. Xanax, Melatonin, Ambien, NyQuil or Advil PM. My brain spins all over the place. Not even with stressful stuff. Just stuff.
Examples? One night I was up till 3:34 (last I looked at clock) worrying about if the house we rented for Spring Break had a closet in every room. Did the closets have hangers? If not should I go buy hangers? Hmmm… Maybe I needed to buy rolling rods.
Then I start to wonder why the heck does my face looks so big? Yes, this is a weird one, but I swear I have a huge face. I kinda think maybe it looks so big because I’m in Montana and the altitude is too high? I certainly tried my best to have very little salt the day before. Hmm. Maybe I just have a big face? I wonder if anyone’s ever gotten their face shortened?
I wonder if I ski a ton and really try to keep my skis together, would I get better? Maybe I’d learn to like it more because I hate feeling out of control on huge hills. But then again, it’s fun to sit in the lodge by the fire, watch the snow and read a book.
I wonder about Matilda Jane all the time. So many things. Too many things but mostly just… There are so many cute clothes out there and when I go shopping I feel like a total loser. Omg this sounds bad but seriously, sometimes I question myself. Usually my rule is, focus on YOU, not what everyone else is doing. You gotta stay true to who you are and not try to be everyone else. Because you’ll never get anywhere always looking back and around.
Aghhh ha, I just gave myself a pep talk. Wow. That was weird. Ha, this turned out to be a good blog.
Ya, so did you ever think if you didn’t think about anything what would you do? I mean if I didn’t worry about Joe all the time would he better off? Would he be more independent? Or maybe he is independent and I just worry he’s not. Yup. I worry a lot.
Then I think gosh, maybe you guys think all I do is think about Joe. I don’t mean to talk about him so much. He’s just… And Gabe he’s hilarious. I could go on forever. Like I haven’t already.
As I roll through my list in my head, I’m thinking many of you probably think the same stuff in one sense or another. Or maybe I think that so I don’t feel alone in it!!
And yes, the previous was from a blog I started in Montana. So when we were in NYC we went and got our tarot cards read. You know what the lady said? She said I need clarity. That I can’t think straight because I’m so boggled down with worrying about if everyone is happy, that I can’t see what I really want. And it is causing..can’t remember the word. But she did say I had to work on my spirit. And that I needed a clarity crystal. And of course I got one. And of course all the girls laughed at me. It was a fun time.
But ya, sometimes I do wonder at what point did I have to start filtering what I said, what I thought, what I believed? When I read my old blog, it is crazy the stuff I put out there. And I still type it out only to have to go back and re-read and delete. It is so weird to edit your thoughts?
Late to get kids..talk soon. Have a great weekend.