It’s all I know…

So much to say. Well maybe a lot to read if you wanna hear cancer stuff. My thoughts are pretty scattered so I’m gonna just number them.


1. Went to ER last night for about 8-9 hours.  I was so nervous my chemo was gonna get cancelled so I was stressing trying not to cry or focus on why I was there.  I tell ya, I’m pretty good at fakin’ it till you make it!  We got it all settled and new medicines. (Remember my colon talk… ya that’s what brought me to ER)

2. Met one of the best nurses ever in ER. Talk about being a patient advocate. And to make it better, she’s from Kenya and waiting to go back to do volunteer work with children. Of course I invited her to Kitale. Sent her flowers today to remind her she was my superstar last night.

3. Went to see my Doctor.  We went over my scans. There were a few little oddities but she said we’ll just keep an eye on them.  Best part, she ok’d me to start my chemo today.



4. When I got checked in I looked at Anne and said, “so weird, I’m sitting here getting chemo and it doesn’t feel like I thought it would.”  Truth is…. None of this does. No complaining cuz the hardest part is missing my boys.

5. I realized I need a new word. A gal asked me why I was visiting Houston.  And of course I told her my quick stomach bloating, art fair, cancer story.  She hid her face and got all embarrassed like I was gonna die in front of her.  I said to her,  “Hey, no worries. It’s not any different than anyone else being sick. I just have to get more medicine. ”  I’m really starting to be bothered by people saying bad stuff or acting like I’m done for.  I’ll have to work on changing their minds and attitudes.  Yup. That’s my plan.




6. Someone asked what my treatment plan was. I’m not 100% sure.  I’m quite confident it’s…….. Wait, I at least learned what cycle meant.  It’s means every 3 weeks.  Though I’m still not sure what my cycles are.  Lol. I get carboplatin and taxol every week for 6weeks. Then I get something (just one of the above) every 3 weeks for 6 cycles.  Fancy word using eh?

7. It was cute, Sam was texting me about chemo. And I showed her the IV, she asked,  “is that chemo??”. I laughed a bit for sure.  I think she was expecting me in a space suit or something. But I guess you wouldn’t know if you never saw it. So yup, I just get an IV with lots of medicines on Tuesdays.  Lay in bed, watch TV and chat, then when the buzzer sounds I go back to the hotel.

And that’s that.  Kinda boring post but I know…but Paint By Numbers is right around the corner. Can’t spoil you with too much excitement….



Luvmi Joni Renee Webber - August 6, 2013 - 1:29 pm

<3 ur attitude towards life.

Pam - August 6, 2013 - 10:02 am

When people ask you why you are in Houston, just tell them you are there to fight and win. You will win, you know that, we all know that. Just keep fighting – we are all cheering for you!!

Lil - August 4, 2013 - 10:54 pm

Just got my nerve up to read this. 🙂 your so much stronger than myself and I love you for that. <3 God Bless you!

Andi K. - August 2, 2013 - 12:52 pm

Stay focused on being positive…my mom was in her mid-40s when she was diagnosed with stage 1 ovarian cancer. she survived and is 65 and going strong! whenever i fill out a health form and put that my mom had o.c. the docs always ask “when did she die?” i look them straight in the eye and reply “she survived and has been cancer-free for over 20 years.”

you have such strength and such a world-wide “family” of support… thank you for all you do for us, our children and those who need a helping hand…you are beautiful 🙂

Linda shafer - August 2, 2013 - 10:46 am

Ive known you many years, Denise DeMarchis. Nothing stops you. And you make every bump in the road a positive experience. You will absolutely beat this, I have no doubts. Xxoxxoo

Dana Oh - August 1, 2013 - 8:30 pm

How about we just talk about how dang cute your new ‘do is! So. adorable. on. you. sweetness! So glad you talk about all of your ups-your outlook is amazing and admirable! Just know we’re here for the ups and the stinky downs when you have them and that is A-ok. Go kick some Cancer booty girlfriend! Mwah!!! xoxoxo

Shelby M. Wolfe - August 1, 2013 - 5:00 pm

Temporary insanity takes over your mind when in love. It is this insanity that makes us do things for the one we love. As they say, it takes two to tango, when the other person is also taken over by this insanity, one gets tangled in the roots of love. Just conceiving the very idea of parting from their beloved, terrifies many souls in love. Many important people throughout the world’s history have spoken about this enchanting feeling.

M Swann - August 1, 2013 - 3:43 pm

Your blog is far from boring. I am inspired at your inner strength and how you can still have such a wonder sense of humor. Having the right mindframe .. a postive outlook no matter what.. is half the battle. I’m sure there are days when you just don’t want to smile or when you question why, but through your ordeal thus far, truly you inspire me. Keep CHOOSING to be happy and look for all the positives. This may be the toughest trial of your life, but you are already displaying amazing character qualities and I’m honored to be able to read your blogs and buy your designs. Keep your head up, we support you!

Romans 5:2-5 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us

Michelle Huesgen - August 1, 2013 - 12:36 pm

Kick ass girl!! Love you so! You and Anne look amazing!! XOXOXO

Jill L. - August 1, 2013 - 11:55 am

Praying for you, Denise. Love your candor and love your heart.

Brandi P - August 1, 2013 - 11:08 am


As I sat and read this tears rolled down my face. I realized in that moment that YOU will have become more than just Denise Matilda Jane.. You are Denise the survivor, the fighter and the motivator. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I know there is someone out there that is going through the same thing you are and she has gotten up and decided to fight too. Just by reading your story.

You will continue to be in my prayers and YOU my friend Continue to Inspire..

Love you

Stephanie B - August 1, 2013 - 8:38 am

You have Amazing Courage and Determination. You are brilliantly flawless! Keep your chin up, your doing wonderful:) hugs sent your way!

Lisa - August 1, 2013 - 8:21 am


I didn’t get to meet you at conference, but know you have so much support behind you. All us Tk’s are out there working hard for you this season! God knows what he has in store for you and there is definitely a reason you are going through this. Prayers to you sister and may Paint by Numbers inspire us all as you always do!

Here we go!

Magda - August 1, 2013 - 6:14 am

keep STRONG, Denise!

Shannon Armitage - August 1, 2013 - 1:19 am

I adore you, I love your attitude and your power or positive thinking! Such a role model you are, Sending you lots of luv from Ca….

Anne Embry - August 1, 2013 - 1:11 am

A positive attitude will get you SO far on this journey. On the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 28, I looked at my husband and said “This is happening for a reason and I’m going to use it to help others”. I know you are too! Hang in there, keep life as ‘normal’ as you can, and don’t stop praying (we won’t either!!)
Much love. xoxo
P.S. your friend Anne has a pretty cool name 😉 Friends who sit through chemo with you are true angels!

Heather D. - July 31, 2013 - 11:44 pm

Denise, I’m bowled over by your positive attitude. You are going to kick cancer to the curb!! I’m a firm believer that your attitude and emotional state has far reaching affects on your health and I think you can (and will!) do as much as your doctors to heal yourself. I’m rooting for you!!

Marcy Schneider Hoffman - July 31, 2013 - 11:31 pm

Denise, you amaze me with your strength and positive attitude. I am in awe of you! Loving that you continue to blog this personal journey to share with your MJ family. Prayers and good juju vibes being sent your way!

Maggie Saal - July 31, 2013 - 10:53 pm

Denise, I love love love your positive attitude! About a year and a half ago people used to tell me the same thing when my 7 year old daughter was diagnosed with brain and spine cancer. I used to say I don’t have a choice but now I know that isn’t true! I did have a choice and so do you!!!! I love that you are STRONG and choosing a path of positivity! You and your family are in my prayers. My daughter turns 9 in 2 weeks and is doing amazing. She beat the odds and so will you!

PS..Tell your friend Anne I said HI. You are lucky to have her! She is one awesome chic…. that could maybe pass as your twin!

Maggie….fello Fort Wayner!

Michelle - July 31, 2013 - 10:18 pm

You make me smile! Want you to smile….. Few weeks ago cared for little girl (4)at the center. We put her in a Matilda dress to go home in….. She skipped down hall…..saying….”.I’m pretty, so pretty”. You would of smiled and been so happy. Thank you for helping our kids! Praying.

Randon - July 31, 2013 - 9:51 pm

Hello Denise, I just finished 7 months of your same chemo meds for cervical cancer (stage 3B). My PET scan was clear in june! Cancer is the worst and the best thing to ever happen to me. It is a very personal journey and as much of an emotional journey as a physical. It is a true life lesson showing that others kindness and prayers do work in the healing process. I wish you all the love, prayers and positive energy in the world.
Please take your meds regularly for nausea and sleep – and avoid stress….before you know it, this will all be a faint memory:)

Em Tanner - July 31, 2013 - 9:50 pm

Ok. I was just in my tub chilling and catching up on ya and just spit my diet coke out laughing so hard at ur space suit comment. I’m with Sam. Definitely a lot different than what automatically comes to mind I guess but u crack me up…oh and the ladys embarrasment and “thinkin i was gonna die in front of her” XO. Girlie u r hilarious. Please write a book after ur done with this garb! I want mine signed too!!!

Ida - July 31, 2013 - 9:41 pm

Love you Denise! Love you, Love you, Love you! Your are a most wonderful creation of the Lord God Almighty! He’s got your back.

Marina - July 31, 2013 - 9:14 pm

Hi Denise. I’ve done that combo.. It’s quite bearable!! Good luck to you!! Love your positive spin and attitude!! You can do it!!!

Lauren N. - July 31, 2013 - 8:52 pm

You are such an inspiration! Positive thinking is better than any drug out there! 🙂 God is so much greater than any statistic, prognosis, etc! Anything is possible with the Big Guy on your side! Praying for very minimal side effects and that every cancer cell will be destroyed forever! xo

Lori - July 31, 2013 - 8:45 pm

What a strong woman you are…it is obvious in all you have accomplished thus far in your life and it is even more obvious now. You are in a wonderful place to get treated. My mom beat breast cancer in Houston and you can beat it too. Stay positive. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Chaney Gipson - July 31, 2013 - 8:34 pm

You look GREAT and I can not wait to share your masterpiece tomorrow with the rest of the world. Stay Strong. We love you!!!

Heather Harris - July 31, 2013 - 8:20 pm

We Love You.

You Got this 🙂

Hugs and Prayers from Missouri <3

hollybygolly - July 31, 2013 - 8:15 pm

There isn’t anyone stronger than you. Done for…HA! My Bum… By next year, you will not only have beat this, but beat it into the ground. You will probably develop a cure and help women across the globe. No doubts here my strong girl! Love you! Thinking of you. I saw online a house made out of beer cans in Houston. Might be a good day trip! XO

Dusti Reimer - July 31, 2013 - 8:14 pm

You’re doing awesome! Don’t let other people set you back, you are victorious already! Keep it positive and know we’re praying for you!!! You don’t know me, but my daughter and I love your MJC. I feel that I know a little bit about you, through the clothes and your posts. Actually, we’re all sisters in my book! One big family!

Pamela M. - July 31, 2013 - 8:13 pm

Hi Denise – Thanks for the post! it is great to hear your “voice”…unedited like in the old days when Sam was a packer with about a hundred bracelets on her wrists!! Loved that photo and I hope that makes you smile a little more. 🙂 You look great – positive thoughts coming your way a hundred times over…

Bridgette Lott - July 31, 2013 - 8:06 pm

You amaze me everyday. Keep that chin up Wonder Woman!

Valerie Koop - July 31, 2013 - 6:03 pm

You are graceful and adorable and strong.

And also a hero. Caeden and Claire know all about you. I told them you saved my (our) lives by shining light when so little was to be found.

Claire patted the computer screen where she was looking at your face. Wish you could have felt it like it was a million sunbeams.

Love seeing your face. XO.

Shawna - July 31, 2013 - 5:51 pm

You have the best mindset Denise! You can do this! 🙂 xoxo

VeRonica - July 31, 2013 - 5:43 pm

You are a strong lady and “you will beat this”!! I watched my husband doing his chemos and got so tired of the negative responses and stories. We finally told everyone that if they don’t have something good to say, then don’t say anything at all!!! Surround yourself with “POSITIVE people and positive stories”. By the way, my husband was a stage 3 so the cancer had spread pretty extensively. He was diagnosed when our baby boy was 10 months old, and our little girl was 26 months old. Tomorrow she will be turning 7 yrs old!!! He has been in remission for 3 yrs and 9 months!!! God is great and you can kick cancers butt!!!

Jamie Stuart - July 31, 2013 - 5:31 pm

Thanks for keeping it real! I love that you sent your nurse flowers. As a CRNA, healthcare workers aren’t recognized enough. She sounds super special.
I love your courage and determination. Keep it up!!

maria nelson - July 31, 2013 - 5:27 pm

Denise you are a breath of fresh air! I have had so many family members over the years have to fight cancer and it seems they lose all hope when they hear the word cancer, I love that you are changing the way people think and love your positive mind! I truly believe that a positive attitude is the key to health and happiness! You go girl you are inspiring us all!

Katie - July 31, 2013 - 5:15 pm

Hang in there Denise! Can’t wait to see your vision tomorrow with Paint by Numbers. Hugs!

Jennifer Valsted - July 31, 2013 - 5:07 pm

I’ve been thinking about you every day, Denise!!! Your attitude never ceases to amaze me and I love you for setting such a great example for the rest of us. It’s a daily reminder for how I need to approach each obstacle in my life. Thank you for giving us updates on your progress and please continue to keep us posted. Keep up with the power of positive thinking as it is surrounding you from all over the country (and world!) right now!!!!

Jessica - July 31, 2013 - 5:07 pm

My mom always used to say, “I have cancer. No matter what, cancer will never have me,”. No matter what. xo

Caitlin Sullivan - July 31, 2013 - 5:05 pm

Sending massive hugs your way!!

Brenen - July 31, 2013 - 5:05 pm

We love you, that is all <3

Alison - July 31, 2013 - 4:25 pm

Hi Denise,
I don’t know you but I feel like I do. You are on my heart and I pray for you daily. God Bless you for using the talents He gave you to bring joy to so many daughters and mamas.

Rachel - July 31, 2013 - 3:26 pm

Your amazing!

Jamie B - July 31, 2013 - 2:06 pm

I love that you are so positive. Thank you for continuing to share your story.

rachelle rowlison - July 31, 2013 - 1:51 pm

Well of course they don’t know about your super woman capabilities, you should wear your cape during chemo, you got this remember 😉

Kari Bennett - July 31, 2013 - 12:31 pm

1) I wish you were having a different kind of cocktail with your buddy Anne next to you!! 2) I love your kindness to the nurse. They are an amazing part of your treatment and don’t get a lot of credit 3)Your positive thinking will change people’s outlook and thoughts. How you handle yourself is inspiring. I love Robin Robert’s moms comment…”make your mess your message”.
4)Cheering for you from Indiana and I know you will beat this with grace and confidence. 5) XOXO

iris n. - July 31, 2013 - 12:26 pm

i had a little girl as a patient yesterday and i needed to access her portacath (watch that word coming to your new vocabulary soon…). As i prepared all my stuff, i thought of you. you should get one of those, they’re so awesome. She didnt even flinch (thanks, numbing cream 😉 i love that you loved your nurse. we nurses get attached pretty quickly, too.

Nicole Korensky - July 31, 2013 - 11:42 am

I love your posts-i love how positive you are-and you Should be! It’s the best attitude to have. Hang in there today! 🙂

Meribeth Gilbert - July 31, 2013 - 11:22 am

Denise – I am just so proud of you! You don’t know me, I’m just another crazy obsessed Matilda Jane momma who LOVES everything about you and your clothes and your giving heart, but MAN YOU ARE AMAZING!!! You’ve got SO many people in your court, rooting for you, and supporting you – you’ve got this!!! Many prayers and hugs.

Ashlee Johansen - July 31, 2013 - 11:16 am

I love you Denise! Your positive perspective on life and every trial is so uplifting and sheds a new light on the true purpose of life and living!

Gran - July 31, 2013 - 11:13 am

One more thing……….as you sit there with the IVs…close your eyes and imagine all of us, young and old, with your favorite color pom poms…..right there in front of you cheering you on. GO DENISE!!!

Gran - July 31, 2013 - 11:09 am

Dear Denise, Is it not amazing how God puts the right person in our lives at the right time. That ER nurse……the two of you will see each other again I know. Looks like you are on GO and we all are right here sending our love!

Ali - July 31, 2013 - 10:51 am

You always have been one of the most positive thinkers I’ve ever known! Proud of you, “stay persistent”… I like that.

Missy - July 31, 2013 - 10:02 am

Love your strength! There really isn’t anything more powerful than positive thinking! Stay persistent!