You know that expression “time flies when your having fun”….well I truly believe it does. Whether you are having fun or not….time is irreplaceable.
I took 8 weeks off for Maternity leave this summer after the birth of my son Holden on June25th. I was the last one in line for the “Matilda Jane Baby Boom 2012/2013” (if you follow us on blogs and FB, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about). I was hoping he would hold out until June 30th, so I could make it to all of the Art Fair festivities (it’s my favorite event at MJC). However, with my due date on the 28th, I knew it was a gamble. Needless to say I missed Art Fair, TK conference, and Kiara’s last day at MJC. It was bittersweet…..I knew I would be missing so much by being gone.
Eight weeks seems like such a long time, but it’s not really. I was lucky enough to have most of the summer off with my kiddos. I’d like to tell you that we did amazing things and that I relished every moment of my time with them. I should have. When else would I have the opportunity to be off all summer with them. I’m ashamed to say that I got caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. There was always something that needed to be done. Dishes in the sink, laundry piled up, trips to the grocery store, bottles to make, diapers to change, you get the picture….There just wasn’t enough time in my sleep deprived days to get everything done. If you know me, then you know that I think I am superwoman. I don’t mean that in a conceited way, I just mean I carry the weight of my world on my shoulders. I have a hard time asking for help.
Now it is August 18th, the eve of my return to work, and I find my self crying. I’ll admit it was for a mix of reasons. I was going to miss seeing my little guys face every day, I think my hormones were still out of wack, the kids were starting school (my little P-bot in Kindergarten), but mostly for all the missed opportunities for time that could have been better spent.
So here I am. I’ve returned to work. I’ve been able to establish a routine, of sorts..lol. I also have something I didn’t have 8 weeks ago….hindsight, perspective, and a chance to change. Denise shared an amazing blog post with us this week that really hit home (Oh! For the love of Matilda Jane). It reinforced what I had been feeling about wasted time and not truly sharing myself with my kids. I’ve decided I’m going to challenge myself. I’m going to slow down and just breathe. I’m going to ask for help when I need it. Most importantly I’m going to spend time, quality time, with the people that matter most to me.
Our kids are only little once….I can’t get back the time that has already past, but I can make the most of the all the time that is to come. I’m sure I will have to remind myself on more than one occasion, but I am really going to try to work on this- I want to see them; truly see them, with my eyes and not though my iphone camera. I want to give them my undivided attention. I just want to revel in their wonderment. Children are awesomely curious beings and I want to share their thoughts. I just want memories…..
(it’s really hard to fit four people in a pic that you are taking yourself)…
I would love it if you shared a memory or activity(in the blog comments) that you do with your kids (or anyone else special to you)! I will pick a couple “memories” on Monday and send out something special to them. Oh and keep sending in your pics to FB we all really enjoy you sharing you “littles” with us!