The Fabric of our Lives…

I think I may have used that title one or two times before but it fits so well.  I am so beyond excited for January to be over. I really didn’t like this month for way too many reasons.  My Gramma’s funeral was today. It was beautiful in every way. While I was sad, I was so happy that I know she is happy now. Not that she wasn’t before, but now she will be able to eat, go for walks and enjoy her new life with her family.

You know I went home last Monday cuz DeeDee told me it was almost time. As soon as I got home I went up to visit her. She could not talk, move or pretty much do anything. We sat and chatted with her. I am sure she could hear or just feel us in her heart. We left and came back another time. When I left, I called Lynette and she said, “Denise, you really need to tell her it’s okay to leave, your Grandpa will never be alone. You’ll all take care of him” or something like that.  So I asked my little sister to come back up with me for a 3rd time, she hesitated, I told her we just had to say goodnight one more time to Gramma. So she hopped in the car with me and we headed back to Hospice. I gave my Gramma a hug and whispered what Lynette had said.

Oh, she looked so beyond gorgeous. I cannot even describe it. My Gramma has no wrinkles, the softest skin, and is so tall. She is very much like a ballerina. She just glowed. When we left, Deedee wanted to stay. That is so Deedee, she always stayed the night at my grandparents and when my Gramma got pretty bad  with Alzheimers only Deedee could settle her. Deedee called around midnight that Gramma had passed. I thought I would have been in tears but I was not. It was perfect. Gramma looked beautiful as always, Deedee was with her and she was now able to do all the things she loved again. Yes, and part of me was so excited cuz I knew Goliath would come running to her.

I’m a nut, huh? But for real, how many kids get to grow up across the street form their grandparents? Most only get to see them a few times a year, me it was everyday. I am so lucky to have her as such a huge part of my life.

So here’s to February and all good things to come.  Thanks for all the great notes and cards. You guys are way too sweet to us. And Sammi? Well, that little critter is crazy. He is the most social kitten ever. He came running to the door as soon as we got home this evening and has not let us alone yet. I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow…it’s time to go unpack.

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Denni - February 4, 2010 - 5:49 pm

Denise, I too grew up next door to my grandmother. She cooked lunch for us everyday in the summer (and I mean Southern ‘Country’ cookin’) and babysat for me and my sister more times than I can remember. She was amazing. She passed away December 3rd. I am so thankful that I got to spend some time with her on Thanksgiving. She is so much a part of who I am and who I want to be. Thanks for sharing your story with us. I feel like you are family even though we have never met. Thanks for reminding me of my sweet ‘Mama Miller’!

Sonja Bice - February 3, 2010 - 12:33 pm

I also was fortunate enough to grow up beside my grandparents!! Even more funny…..she had same orange, green, and yellow wall paper as in your photo!!!! Remember it all so well.

Stephanie - January 31, 2010 - 5:10 pm

It’s really hard to believe Phyllis is gone…it’s so strange when we lose someone from Center Street. She was an icon in the neighborhood and will be missed in the years to come. Kinda puts in perspective how old we are getting too…weird! Love ya Nece, you are in my thoughts:)

Lil - January 30, 2010 - 11:31 pm

I lived across the road my my gradma and paw… I think a part of me loved them as much I loved my parents, i was there all the time. I share my grandmom name and hers before her.
They were so much a part of my live, while both my mom and dad worked in the dusk, I was learning to cook, I was learning to farm, to ride a horse to plant gardens, flowers.. Did I say cook?
I lost them when I was only a teen but they are with each and every day of my life. They left me and my dad all left me within a year. Talk about a lost girl.. I was one SOMEDAYS I still am.

I just know one day I will see them and we shall dance and sing again, I am glad you got to say GOOD bye.

Gran in NC - January 30, 2010 - 8:24 pm

Denise, thank you for sharing the pictures and giving us the opportunity to see what a special person your grandmother was in your life. As a grandmother I can tell you that I so appreciate the time spent with our two granddaughters and these memories replay in my mind. I have many pictures that will hopefully help me always remember the joys of being a grandmother. Thank you again for sharing from your heart. Continuing to think of you and your family.

Sophia's Mom - January 30, 2010 - 2:15 pm

Denise, I am so sorry to hear about your grandma….what a beautiful woman. I bet she and Goliath are enjoying each other’s company. My grandparents have all passed and I still miss them so much….but I have such wonderful memories. Memories that I love sharing and laughing about. Hugs to you and your family. 🙂

Sharon - January 30, 2010 - 10:25 am

Thank you sharing your story with us… My grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimers a few years ago. Its hard. I freak out at times… your story helps to calm me a bit.
Thank you…

Terese - January 30, 2010 - 9:52 am

Oh tears, tears reading your blog…My grandma made afghans like the one in your picture. I cherish them now cause they remind me of her.

Shelley - January 30, 2010 - 8:13 am

Just wanted to say your post brought tears to my eyes. I too lived down the street from and saw my grandparents every day. They have both been gone for a few years now and I miss them every day. Thoughts and prayers are with you!

Denise - January 30, 2010 - 7:49 am

You guys are awesome, s always….thanks for the kind words.

Deb Stallings Mom to Sophie - January 30, 2010 - 7:46 am

MAKING Memories and living each day to the fullest is so important. Memories are something that you will have forever. I totally understand as my “Nannie”(grandmother) raised me and losing her was the most difficult thing in my life but I have fabulous memories. I know one day we will be together again forever.
Hang in there

Heatherb - January 30, 2010 - 7:21 am

Beautiful, Grandparents are such special people in our lives. She was a lucky lady to have spent so much time with you and your sister. Hugs to you and your family.

RachelR - January 30, 2010 - 7:20 am

Well you may not have cried, but I sure as heck just did. So very for the loss of your gramma. Really touching post Denise. You & your family will continue to be in my thoughts. *hug* *hug* *hug*!

AnaA - January 30, 2010 - 5:28 am

What a beautiful gift you’ve been given! And you are right – she heard every word you spoke to her that night. You were so blessed to be able to spend that time with her and to be able to have such a lovely memory.
Isn’t it wonderful to know that all of your loved ones are together and in a place where illness doesn’t exsist?
It sounds like your newest addition to the family is just what all of you needed.

Cynthia - January 30, 2010 - 4:43 am

Well written! I am in tears. Here’s to wishing for a fabulous February. I am so sorry about your grandma.

christine - January 30, 2010 - 4:21 am

Denise…my heart goes out to you. I starting crying reading your post but it was also so beautiful. May she enjoy the things she loved to do now and have Goliath there by her side.
Our grandparents, what very special people.

Celecia Martinez - January 30, 2010 - 12:42 am

Denise, I lost my grandmother suddenly about 7 years ago and I think about her all the time. The most precious thing is when I come across a piece of paper with her hand writing on it. Also, when she passed away I kept all of her cookbooks…I love cooking her favorite recipes and finding stains on the pages and her footnotes alongside the recipes. Like you I feel very blessed to have such wonderful grandparents that I was able to spend so much time with. Now if I could only be half the woman she was. God Bless!

Skye, River, and Siennas mom - January 29, 2010 - 11:33 pm

Awww Denise…brought tears to my eyes to read about such a deep love for your grandmother, thanks for sharing such a touching part of your life with us. Big hugs.

Kay Snyder - January 29, 2010 - 10:58 pm

HUGS Denise

shabbychicreesa - January 29, 2010 - 10:29 pm

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you show so much courage and strength. Your grandmother was very pretty too! My grandparents are 85 yrs old and this week has been very trying for our family too. My grandfather whom takes care of my grandmother (who suffers from Dementia) has been in the hospital with heart and lung failure. I spent alot of time with my grandma during the last week and have seen how time has changed her mind and how sad it is. Your thoughts made me appreciate what little time I have left with them and reminded me of the comfort in knowing when they do pass on they will be in a better place with no suffering. My prayers are with you and your family.

Yas - January 29, 2010 - 10:16 pm

My thoughts are with you & yours. Sorry about your grandma & Goliath. Cheers to a wonderful February.

WhitleyKate's mom - January 29, 2010 - 9:57 pm

What a touching post, Denise! I lost my great grandma (Gram) two years ago at the age of 92. She was a HUGE part of my life, especially since I had a teenage mom. I was very fortunate that my children were able to know their great-great grandma…not many children have that blessing. It’s so sad to see them go, but you’re right…she’s happy now. Thank you for sharing the beautiful pictures. It gives us time to reflect on just how precious family is. Hugs and prayers!

Kim - January 29, 2010 - 9:39 pm

I related to your post today. I lost my Gran last August althought I was so grieved, I was so happy for her. She just looked happy and beautiful. She had been home bound for tens of years and was finally FREE! My five year old daughter was lifted up to see her at the funeral and said “look mommy, Bert is smiling” and yes I think she was.I too thought about my Gran jumping and dancing in her new body. I am sorry you are walking through this right now, but I am glad our Grans are RUNNING through it! God bless you and your family. And come on Februrary!

ErikaB - January 29, 2010 - 9:37 pm

Your Grandmothers passing is similair to what we saw with the passing of my grandparents, death can be as precious as birth if it is approached right and we all must go thru both in this life, gain and loss are all part of the circle. God Bless you and your family!

shannon - January 29, 2010 - 9:21 pm

denise, your grandmother is beautiful! thank you for sharing!

Sundee - January 29, 2010 - 9:07 pm

Wow, Denise. I am moved by your post. My prayers are with you and your family!

Monika - January 29, 2010 - 9:07 pm

Awwww, now you have me thinking of my Swiss grandma… I saw her every Sunday. I can’t remember a single Sunday of my childhood that was spent anywhere else… and summer vacations too.

Anyways, when she was hospitalized, I couldn’t immediately jump on a plane (sometimes living an ocean apart from family sucks). But we had a trip planned for grandma’s 90th birthday (which was a couple weeks away). My mom called me every day, telling me she was getting worse. Well, she held on until I got to say goodbye. I had my quiet moment alone with her, she couldn’t talk anymore, but I know she could hear me. I will never forget that moment, sitting on her bed, holding her frail hand, kissing her goodbye, thanking her for waiting to see me, telling her it was okay to go now… off to see her husband and son, who had left her almost 25 years before. She passed the next morning… on her 90th birthday. It was beautiful. Gosh, now I miss her!

Lindsay - January 29, 2010 - 8:39 pm

I am praying for you and your family. I recently lost my grandma and it was a wonderful feeling to know that I had been able to spend so much time with her. I love having all those memories! That was a precious post!!!

luci - January 29, 2010 - 8:21 pm

So wonderful. I know how you feel and I had the same reaction. It is so hard to let the people you love go, but you always have to let them know it is OK and they are always with you. You made me cry and that is hard to do. Love and Prayers for you and your family!!

Julie in the Springs - January 29, 2010 - 8:12 pm

What a beautiful post and a touching tribute to your Grandmother. I got chills when you said “… Goliath would come running to her!” May February bring an abundance of unexpected joy to you and your family, Denise!

rebecca - January 29, 2010 - 8:11 pm

Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt post. Prayers out to you and your family!

Mary - January 29, 2010 - 8:08 pm

I am so sorry for your loss, Denise. I am in tears. Your grandma was a very beautiful woman, for sure, with a family that loved her immensely. Much love to your family.

Lisa M - January 29, 2010 - 8:01 pm

I am in tears here… how moving. And my gosh, Joe bears a strong resemblance to you! Big hugs!!

faninOH - January 29, 2010 - 7:57 pm

What a beautiful story. I was also close to my grandparents and you are right…What a wonderful relationship to be a part of! I wish we lived closer to my parents so my kids could experience the same thing I did.

My grandfather passed in October. He waited 13 years to see my grandmother again. What a joyous day to know they are together now!

Isabella's Mom - January 29, 2010 - 7:52 pm

Happy to hear you’re home and well. You made me cry, that’s pretty difficult to do.
Take care.

*TKJT* - January 29, 2010 - 7:37 pm

How beautiful. Thank you for sharing your special memories with us.