The Things You Think About

Ok, it might be a another blah, blah, blah post but sometimes I think about a lot.  A lot of random junk.  Random crazy junk that keeps me up all night.  Every night.

The past couple months nothing puts me to sleep.  Nothing.  Xanax, Melatonin, Ambien, NyQuil or Advil PM.  My brain spins all over the place. Not even with stressful stuff.  Just stuff.

Examples? One night I was up till 3:34 (last I looked at clock) worrying about if the house we rented for Spring Break had a closet in every room.  Did the closets have hangers? If not should I go buy hangers? Hmmm… Maybe I needed to buy rolling rods.

Then I start to wonder why the heck does my face looks so big? Yes, this is a weird one, but I swear I have a huge face. I kinda think maybe it looks so big because I’m in Montana and the altitude is too high? I certainly tried my best to have very little salt the day before.  Hmm. Maybe I just have a big face? I wonder if anyone’s ever gotten their face shortened?

I wonder if I ski a ton and really try to keep my skis together, would I get better?  Maybe I’d learn to like it more because I hate feeling out of control on huge hills.  But then again, it’s fun to sit in the lodge by the fire, watch the snow and read a book.

I wonder about Matilda Jane all the time.  So many things. Too many things but mostly just… There are so many cute clothes out there and when I go shopping I feel like a total loser. Omg this sounds bad but seriously, sometimes I question myself.  Usually my rule is, focus on YOU, not what everyone else is doing.  You gotta stay true to who you are and not try to be everyone else. Because you’ll never get anywhere always looking back and around.

Aghhh ha, I just gave myself a pep talk.  Wow. That was weird.  Ha, this turned out to be a good blog.

Ya, so did you ever think if you didn’t think about anything what would you do? I mean if I didn’t worry about Joe all the time would he better off? Would he be more independent? Or maybe he is independent and I just worry he’s not.  Yup. I worry a lot.

Then I think gosh, maybe you guys think all I do is think about Joe. I don’t mean to talk about him so much.  He’s just… And Gabe he’s hilarious.  I could go on forever.  Like I haven’t already.

As I roll through my list in my head, I’m thinking many of you probably think the same stuff in one sense or another. Or maybe I think that so I don’t feel alone in it!!

And yes, the previous was from a blog I started in Montana. So when we were in NYC we went and got our tarot cards read. You know what the lady said? She said I need clarity. That I can’t think straight because I’m so boggled down with worrying about if everyone is happy, that I can’t see what I really want. And it is causing..can’t remember the word. But she did say I had to work on my spirit. And that I needed a clarity crystal. And of course I got one.  And of course all the girls laughed at me. It was a fun time.

But ya, sometimes I do wonder at what point did I have to start filtering what I said, what I thought, what I believed? When I read my old blog, it is crazy the stuff I put out there. And I still type it out only to have to go back and re-read and delete. It is so weird to edit your thoughts?

Late to get soon. Have a great weekend.



Katie H. - April 16, 2013 - 3:16 pm

Denise I love this post! I think about random things all the time-I can totally relate! I don’t think you have anything to worry about when it comes to cute clothes! We LOVE what you put out there 🙂

L Rosswurm - April 16, 2013 - 8:10 am

Come to my yoga class!

Brandi - April 15, 2013 - 9:37 pm

Try some Yoga Denise.. It helps me most days..I’m more focused on doing my next pose than the other 50 million things I should be thinking about.. But then again you have a lot more to think about than me I’m sure.. AND you are never going to make everyone happy. Stay true to yourself and your post. I don’t think you ever need to edit your feelings or thoughts to please others. You are GOOD and that shines above anything else.

Ashlee Johansen - April 14, 2013 - 10:10 pm

Oh Denise- your are truly the BEST! I love how real you are. You truly make MJC what it is today! Looking forward to seeing you in a few short weeks- I am the BIGGEST worry wort so I can relate. Have a great week!

Priscilla Bockelman - April 14, 2013 - 4:49 pm

When I start worrying I always try to take some advice that my boss gives. He says “just think about the present”. If you are only thinking about the present and RIGHT NOW” most of the time you will find that you are actually doing pretty well. Thinking too much about the past and the future is always going to cause worry. I also try to remember that if you truly believe in prayer and the power that it has then worrying is really just a waste of your time. It is so hard, I know….and I don’t want to sound shallow, like only think about now and never plan, but it will help minimize worry some 🙂

Julieanna c - April 14, 2013 - 5:33 am

Everyone has chatter , that random junk that we are always thinking about. One time I was listening to Joel Osteen and he said you don’t have to think about every thought that comes in you mind. If it fills you with fear, self doubt, anger or anxiety cast the thought from your mind. Choose to think of smoothing else. It was news to me!

Hope Boyce - April 13, 2013 - 3:28 pm

Maybe you need to color! The not being able to sleep is the pits. My hubby says I have a Ph.D. In Worry and Guilt. I believe you do, too! The crystal is not silly – I would have done the same!

Amanda L - April 12, 2013 - 8:49 pm

Well you pep-talked yourself, so good thing you have it in writing so you can re-read it later when you need a pick-me-up…from yourself! And the worrying thing- we all do it, even though we know there’s nothing productive to come from it. I’d say it’s a “mom thing” but my husband is just as bad 🙂

And don’t edit out too much…it’s the sincerity of your creativity that draws us all back. You said it yourself, stay true to you.

amber v - April 12, 2013 - 7:13 pm

I love this post:) It makes me laugh and I love how real you are. Always be true to yourself is what I say:) That’s when the magic happens!

Laura shigley - April 12, 2013 - 6:03 pm

Denise, you are an unbelievable person, a truly sweet and kind person. Someone who is real and as normal as the rest of us! Thanks for being YOU!!

Holly Lafferty - April 12, 2013 - 5:27 pm

similar… yet different.

head size issues? well, i happen to have the opposite problem. i have the SMALLEST head. like a pea balancing on a human body.
and when i thought it was just my imagination, i measured the circumference and it is EXACTLY the same as my children’s heads at age 2 and 5.

and when i’m out with the girls and some takes a group picture, they ALL fight over who has to have their head by mine since my head makes theirs look jumbo.

and it’s all my mom’s fault. she made me wear this ridiculous hat with a chin strap as a child.

Prencie - April 12, 2013 - 5:16 pm

OMG! Denise, you have me cracking up over here! I love your train of thoughts at 3 in the morning :)haahaaa!

Brittney - April 12, 2013 - 5:03 pm

I love the way you write and I think you are definitely not alone in all the random thoughts that go through our minds constantly. I personally don’t think you need any kind of face shortening procedure, you are beautiful exactly how you are! I might have to look into getting myself a clarity stone, though. Come to think of it, I have no idea what that is? Is it a paper weight? A necklace? A stone on a ring? I’m now very curious about what a clarity crystal is and how I might go about pursuing clarity in my own life. Not to ramble or anything….oops. Have a great weekend! 🙂

Monika M. - April 12, 2013 - 4:38 pm

Ah, I love you!! So good to read what’s really on your mind =), welcome back… maybe letting it out in written form will give you clarity?

And you’re not alone… I’m nowhere as creative as you are and I still think about “stuff” nonstop. HUGS!

Tracy D - April 12, 2013 - 4:13 pm

You need to see the play Love, Loss, and What I wore by Nora and Delia Ephron based on the book by the same name written by Ilene Beckerman. I haven’t read the book, but I recently went to the play with a group of my girlfriends and it was the best!