Till Next Week

I was lucky enough to come up to Michigan with Lynette, Anne and families for the long weekend. Gosh, it is so nice to come up here and breathe. Or try to.

This afternoon when David, Joe and Gabe left to head home I had to hold back my tears. I am staying here to get ready for the photo shoot on Thursday.

The 3 of them left and as they pulled away, it hit me they are my life. The reason I do everything and for some reason I had this nervousness about them leaving.  I went and sat on the porch and pet Franklin and my brain went crazy.

It sucks. And I hate blogging all the time about this “stuff”.  But lately I’m realizing more than ever, all I do is work.  I’m not exaggerating when I say my brain is 90% on MJC all the time.  I wish I could just wipe it clean. I hate worrying about all the little details. Gabe was crying this morning, and I was on the phone trying to figure something out and I had to shoo him away, another “just a sec” to him. I swear I saw him look at me, like “what’s new? Mom is on the phone”.  I hate it.

It’s so hard cuz I love my job so much. I love, love every little but about it.  But I am getting tired. Please don’t read between the lines, I am not leaving. It is not what I am blogging about. I am just saying,  “I’m tired.”

We’ve grown so much, so fast.  It’s hard. You’d think it would get easier but it seems not to be.  I feel like I am always trying to put on  a front that says “Oh, it’s simple. I just design clothes and they magically appear”.

I was telling Lynette today, sometimes I feel it’s like a Garage Sale. Your friend says, “oh, just have a garage sale” and she has no clue that you don’t just magically lift the garage door and it’s all ready to go.  It takes about a week to get dressers cleaned out, clothes sorted and tagged, then you set up the card table, hang sign late into the night and remind people “we don’t open till 8am” as you are trying to finish up last minute details. Then you gotta do all the clean up, which takes another couple days. It’s a ton of work.

Okay, now I am doing that rambling part. Sorry. I am just missing my boys.  Anne said it best when she left today. I hugged her and said, “I’ll miss you till next week” and she said “who are you kidding, it’s been like a month since I saw YOU”.

I so need to get control of my brain.  I can’t wait for my girls to get here this week and side track me. Luckily, my sister is saving part of my day and ironing 2 boxes of photo shoot samples for me! And now I am off to plant some flowers in the woods to make them appear a bit more “magical”. Crossing my fingers, my cousin, Kayla and Sam are gonna get the twinkle lights strung too!!

PS and Sorry that it has been so long since I last blogged. I keep pulling myself back cuz I feel like all my posts are starting to sound like I’m a whimp. LOL

And yes, I so need a new family pic!

Martha - June 1, 2013 - 10:35 pm

It actually is OK to let people down. You can’t be all things to all people all of the time. People will understand. I’ve noticed in your posts you seem to be extremely stressed out. I keep thinking, why doesn’t she get more help for herself personally. Being able to let go and trust others is a big key to success. Your kids are only little once so enjoy your family, enjoy your beautiful clothing company, and please let others help you slow down!

Franklin Cole - June 1, 2013 - 6:14 am

appears to be a sort of misdirection play — suggesting a lighthearted lark of a road trip that suddenly turns into a horror flick about the time Schulman walks up to the family’s garage door and peers inside. Hitchcock’s name is dropped onscreen, which suggests something really disturbing.

Val - May 30, 2013 - 9:21 am

Love you. I was just talking about you last night – not about MJC.

Doing the best you can isn’t always pretty. That’s okay. We can be messy girls.


Nicole Korensky - May 29, 2013 - 10:34 am

This is such a beautiful photo. 🙂

Lil - May 29, 2013 - 4:12 am

While I’m sure my minds not creative, it does feel as if I have a freeway running thru it. I’ve had so much to get taken care of lately, I’ve done really well @ staying off the computers, but phone call after phone call about ” things that scare the life out of me” I have no control over those things & it’s so overwhelming. I to have seen the looks on my children’s face when I ask them to be quiet just a little longer, while im still on the phone. I know one day, soon it will be me THEY don’t have time for and it breaks my heart. However for now we do the best we can to let them know they are the center of ours lives & my reason for being. Nothing else matters compared to them. I think most all mom feel this way, but we aren’t most moms, were the crazy kind that travel to infenity and beyond, just for that twinkle in their eyes. Slow down & try to relax a little each day. While I should practice what I’m preaching. I will close with what my ma & pa used to say to me. Do as I say, not as I do! Maybe the world needs to slow down some to 🙂 night!!!

Denise - May 29, 2013 - 12:30 am

Thanks ladies. I know we are all doing as much as we can. It’s tough. But I must say, it’s nice to here that I’m not alone on this stuff. Thanks!

rachelle r r - May 29, 2013 - 12:13 am

So why is it we moms try to be superwoman?? some evenings I sit back and say whew!! can’t believe I made it through another day with 5 kids and all the activities, plus trying to give me some me-time LOL and hubby time, Life is all about balance and keeping it is the hardest thing to do, we all get burnt out or tired ,but its those little things that keep us going, you do a great job Denise ,but your only one person,you started this crazy MJ thing LOL and look at all the connections that make it happen,its ok to say I’m tired, I like burnt out better hee hee, You deserve a vacation even if it is to MI to see family (remember those are the little things) take a deep breath,eat a big bowl of ice cream too, that helps ha ha!! <3 rachelle

Stubs - May 28, 2013 - 11:58 pm

That infamous quote comes to mind– we all juggle a million balls. All of them are rubber except for family. That one is glass. If the others are dropped, they will bounce back. If the family one is dropped, it will shatter and never be the same.

You have a lot to be proud of. I am not saying to leave, just transition. Find a strategic partner to take the load off and LET GO. It will work out.

Someone once told me that getting big too fast is as detrimental to a company as not growing fast enough. Scale back- your brand will last longer anyway if the market isn’t so over saturated.

Michelle Huesgen - May 28, 2013 - 11:56 pm

Awe! Hugs and love to you honey! As soon as the photoshoot is over though you’ll be able to relax! Those woods are already so magical, I can only imagine how awesome it will all turn out!!

Stacey M. - May 28, 2013 - 5:46 pm

I know exactly how you feel! I recently moved positions within my company to a new department. ALOT more stress, everything now, now, now, a little one a home who only wants to be with mommy, a husband who feels neglected and a brain that won’t turn off.

You don’t want to let anyone down and it feels like you are letting everyone down. You can’t stop yourself from worrying, you want to make everyone happy and you put your own happiness last. I think every working mom goes through this at some point – you are not alone in your struggle to find balance.

A friend reminded me of the following, I cried a little (okay a lot) and it felt so cathartic:

You are a good person, mom, wife, friend. You have a good job/company. YOU ARE NOT THE JOB/COMPANY.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

Hope that makes sense – I know I ramble a bit. I will see you at dinner before Art Fair and hope to give you a big hug – I think we all need them sometimes.

Bridgette Lott - May 28, 2013 - 3:29 pm

Denise, take a deep breath 🙂 My mom always tells me to Live in the Moment 🙂

Marcy Schneider Hoffman - May 28, 2013 - 2:38 pm

I have been unplugged for a bit and am catching up on everything here…..the tugs on a mother’s heart are so strong! So very strong. Hang in there!
And yes, you need a new family photo! LOL I FORCE myself to get one taken every year. I believe that the photos your children will cherish the most will be the ones with you in them, or them together, or with their father, grandparents, etc. Think about it……you don’t look back at your family photos and oooh and ahhhh over the photos of just you as a child. You love the ones with your family. One of my favorite photos of me is when I was maybe 2 and I was standing on the porch of my great grandmother’s home with her. It was just an old snapshot, but it showed our connection. Get it done, Denise! Make the time for those photos, you will not regret it. And your boys will thank you for them……when they are adults, of course! 😉

Alexandra F. - May 27, 2013 - 9:24 pm

Denise, I hardly know you except for loving your brand. You know, as a woman, you have to wear so many hats. Mother, wife, businesswoman, humanitarian, etc.
You are entitled to get tired and feel the way you do. It’s ok. Im sure your boys love you way past the looks they may give you. (Regrettably,I get those all the time too) In life there are no right answers sometimes. All you can do is try your best and follow your heart. Im sure, somewhere down the line, they will surely be just like you because of the example you set for them. You are beautiful, amazing, and inspiring. This from a person you hardly know. The proof is in the pudding, your brand! Imagine what they must think of you? Don’t beat yourself up so much, they will love you endlessly and unconditionally. Big hugs momma!!

brittney T - May 27, 2013 - 9:09 pm

i know what you are saying about being wrapped and missing things. My son Devon has been in the hospital now 6 months today. i cant imagine being to far from him as we wait for his heart transplant but with 2 other kids at home who love and miss me i feel guilty that i cant split in to. Your not a wimp, you just have a heart. God bless.

Kait G - May 27, 2013 - 8:35 pm

So well put… if it makes you feel at all better so many of us are in the same boat. I can’t wait to see what fall has in store.