I was lucky enough to come up to Michigan with Lynette, Anne and families for the long weekend. Gosh, it is so nice to come up here and breathe. Or try to.
This afternoon when David, Joe and Gabe left to head home I had to hold back my tears. I am staying here to get ready for the photo shoot on Thursday.
The 3 of them left and as they pulled away, it hit me they are my life. The reason I do everything and for some reason I had this nervousness about them leaving. I went and sat on the porch and pet Franklin and my brain went crazy.
It sucks. And I hate blogging all the time about this “stuff”. But lately I’m realizing more than ever, all I do is work. I’m not exaggerating when I say my brain is 90% on MJC all the time. I wish I could just wipe it clean. I hate worrying about all the little details. Gabe was crying this morning, and I was on the phone trying to figure something out and I had to shoo him away, another “just a sec” to him. I swear I saw him look at me, like “what’s new? Mom is on the phone”. I hate it.
It’s so hard cuz I love my job so much. I love, love every little but about it. But I am getting tired. Please don’t read between the lines, I am not leaving. It is not what I am blogging about. I am just saying, “I’m tired.”
We’ve grown so much, so fast. It’s hard. You’d think it would get easier but it seems not to be. I feel like I am always trying to put on a front that says “Oh, it’s simple. I just design clothes and they magically appear”.
I was telling Lynette today, sometimes I feel it’s like a Garage Sale. Your friend says, “oh, just have a garage sale” and she has no clue that you don’t just magically lift the garage door and it’s all ready to go. It takes about a week to get dressers cleaned out, clothes sorted and tagged, then you set up the card table, hang sign late into the night and remind people “we don’t open till 8am” as you are trying to finish up last minute details. Then you gotta do all the clean up, which takes another couple days. It’s a ton of work.
Okay, now I am doing that rambling part. Sorry. I am just missing my boys. Anne said it best when she left today. I hugged her and said, “I’ll miss you till next week” and she said “who are you kidding, it’s been like a month since I saw YOU”.
I so need to get control of my brain. I can’t wait for my girls to get here this week and side track me. Luckily, my sister is saving part of my day and ironing 2 boxes of photo shoot samples for me! And now I am off to plant some flowers in the woods to make them appear a bit more “magical”. Crossing my fingers, my cousin, Kayla and Sam are gonna get the twinkle lights strung too!!
PS and Sorry that it has been so long since I last blogged. I keep pulling myself back cuz I feel like all my posts are starting to sound like I’m a whimp. LOL
And yes, I so need a new family pic!