I saw a friend the other day and it was tough. It is tough to hear someone say, “you never call anymore, like you are too busy for me.” I felt like a complete idiot. And terrible about myself. Of course I am a dweller and dwell so much I make things bigger then they are. Well, negative things. So funny how we dwell on the negatives and not the positives. I need to change that about me.
Then I thought as I was driving home, “Denise, you can’t spend your time having time for everyone, you just can’t.” And while I hate how that sounds, it really is true. My entire day would be consumed with calling, texting and emailing people back. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly devote a huge chunk of time to staying in touch, and I love love getting notes but sometimes it takes me a bit to respond. Ha, I feel like I am digging myself into a hole with this blog. So I gotta stay on track. My life has changed so much since I was 30. I remember having all day long to chat and do whatever. I loved it. But I also know now that I am nearing (insert number here) I have core of friends that I want to devote all my time to. You know how it is. Once you finish your daily work, you spend time with your kids and what is left goes to your friends. Sometimes there is not a ton left, and as I get older I really value the few girls that totally get me. They totally get, gosh and I sound snotty, but they totally get I don’t have a lot of time, none of us do, and what time we do have together should be used to enjoy each other not be reminded of all the missed calls.
Ya, I am really going no where with this besides it is crazy how the years change you. It is crazy how a family changes you. It is crazy how work changes you. And lastly it is crazy how I have changed. And the cool thing is, I kinda like me.
So after I got home and after I gave myself a pep talk that just because I can’t spend the time I used to with people it doesn’t doesn’t make me a bad person, I decided I can’t be everything to everyone. But what I can be is the best Denise I can be. It’s a total switch around for me. I’m a total pleaser. A yes girl. And I need to start switching the yes around and focus more on the people I am with then the people I am not with. If that makes any sense.
Gosh, yes, you are reading this right. My mind is such a ball of craziness lately. I talk in circles. Half the time trying to convince myself of something so I don’t feel guilty. I feel like I am continuously fiddling with my necklace to remind to t stay focused.
Ha, The next day… This blog sat her all night so here you go.
Sam and Kayla have been trying to walk at 6am. Second day in. It’s nice talking to those girls in the wee hours of the morning. Good way to start the day. Sam and I are heading up to Michigan on Monday to wrap up the Spring 14 line. I’m pretty happy about this. My grandpa is 93! I was bumming the other day and Lynette (always the wise one who knows how to get me to listen) says, “Denise, make the choice to be with him while he is healthy.” And she is so right. Regret is the worst thing to shoulder.
Okay, well thanks for listening to me babble. And one last thing…Art Fair Pre-party is going to blow your mind. As is Art Fair! Huge smiles