I am quite certain that Spring does this to all of us. Our brains in a whirlwind of what clothes still fit for the upcoming summer, the noticing of dust everywhere and urge to clean, kids wanting to stay up late and all I want to do is go to sleep early. The list goes on.
This week was filled with meetings full of brainstorming what can we do to make MJC better for you. There are so many thoughts and ideas that fly around the workshop through short conversations, texts and email and then comments on FB and the blog and things we read in emails. Sam, Lynette, David and I have been really talking through these and actually soul searching on what we can do and how we can make all our dreams come true. MJC is our heart and soul. It is all our girl at 435 and all our Trunk Keepers hearts and souls. We put love into everything we do and hope that you can feel it. But when you are working with so many high energy driven girls the thought process of how to get better and better every day never stops. So it has been quite enjoyable and quite intense this past week really just talking for hours amongst hours on what the next steps are to make it better, laying out a plan and making sure there is no heart lost, no culture disturbed and most importantly it is as fun and rewarding as it was on day one.
I can share my priority list with you, because it is mine to share. I really miss just designing and standing at the cutting table dreaming up new things. I love working with the fabrics and just dreaming. When I can make those dreams come true I love it as much as the process. Another favorite component of MJC is you and I miss you. I love blogging and reading FB. I want more time to share our story. You guys have been with us since the start and have watched and heard every heartbreak and every joy that comes our way and I want more time to share that with you. It seems as we grow I have less and less time to blog. Yup, so what I brought to the table was probably the shortest list and to me, the most powerful list, YOU and ME.
Ya, so a side note to all that is I started the Isogenix Cleanse thing (thanks Anne) . Anne says I will truly thank her later but my head kills. Major Dt Coke withdrawal. I am on day 3 and I have absolutely no energy and a huge headache. Not a fun day but hey I am sitting here blogging so I have a smile on my face.
One more thing that is eating me up is Joe. As you all know, I am so excited about taking Joe up North in May for a summer full of speech. It is going to be hard but I feel it is important to do. It is a constant battle of “what? Huh? Joe can you talk more clearly? I don’t understand.” I know it sounds mean but it is the truth and it comes from everyone. I am confident that spending this summer with a therapist that has proven her passion and talent will totally help. Joe always said his name as “Doe” up until this past summer and after a week up north he could say Joe. Imagine 8 weeks. I know I am sounding like I am convincing myself of this but middle school is tough and he is my boy and I need to do what is best. Ok, so what am I getting at? I had a mom text me the other day saying “Joe doesn’t want to go and sometimes as parents we try so hard to do the right things that we lose sight of what our kids truly want.” So now in back of my head, I wonder if I am being selfish trying to change him. But he is 10 and when he is 16 he’s going to want be to understand him, right? Gosh, it’s tough being a parent, huh?
And with that said I am off to have…a water because it seems the only thing I can have today. We are leaving for Peru next Friday than straight to Florida so I gotta start way ahead of time packing. Two crazy trips back to back
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I totally get what you are saying. Being a parent is not always easy and we do make hard tough decisions. You are doing the right thing girl! He will thank you and yes definitely understand when he gets older. Good Luck
My boy has been in speech therapy since he was 2 and he is now 4.5. He is showing improvement but when his speech therapist isn’t around for awhile I can barely understand what he is saying. He gets frustrated-I get frustrated and at the end we are both in tears. It has been a difficult process and my goal for this spring is to get him to his therapist more so we don’t lose the improvements he is making. I struggle with his difficulty to speak clearly because it is a fine line to walk while helping them along and being a nag for asking them to saw fish 5 million times so the f sounds right
I understand and sometimes we have to make the better choices for them even if they don’t understand the importance of it yet 
As a mom, I truly believe you know what is best for your child. Sometimes are children don’t like to do things that will benefit them in the future, but as parents, we have to think what is best for them. It’s difficult being a parent, especially when we always want to make our children happy, but doing what is best for Joe will ensure his happiness in the future. Hang in there (both with the cleanse and parenting)! You are a great mom!
As a mother of a child with special needs myself, I think you are doing the right thing. In the long run he will look back and thank you for all that you did. As parents we want our kids to be “successful in life” whatever that means (it’s different for all us). It’s our jobs as parents to give our kids the best start possible in life and if you have the means to give him speech therapy for eight weeks than do it, for him. He deserves the very best.
Lots of love coming your way.
Aw Denise, you are a great mom!! Joe will always be able to look back in his life and see how much you loved him and that every decision you made was the one that you thought was best for him at the time. The 8 weeks this summer will be a blip on the radar when he is older and you are all enjoying how much easier it is for him to be understood. It will totally be worth it in the long run and hopefully you can work some FUN stuff in during that time as well! Josiah is starting a 16 week “listening therapy” program to re-train his brain to listen and process sound better. He has to listen to random sounds through headphones for two hours a day. He is not thrilled at all and his therapist said most parents give up because their kids don’t want to do it but if we stick with it it WILL work. I’m going to do my best to stick with it and pray he thanks me one day!
What a heartfelt post … I just have to say that Joe doesn’t really know what he truly wants! And neither does the back of your head! He’s 10 … and you are so right … when he gets to be 16, he will be so grateful! Actually, he may not even remember the struggle … grateful won’t be in the equation … won’t that be perfect! You are the Mom … you have to make the difficult decisions for a 10 year old who needs this extra push! So push … don’t second guess your gut instincts! DO NOT listen to the back of your head … again, what does it know? Your heart, gut, and front of your head knows what you need to do! P.S. He will have a great time when he gets there … and so will you! Plus, you will be so proud that you are such a smart Mom doing this terrific thing for your boy! P.S.S. Of course you need a new swimsuit. P.S.S.S. New clothes for the boys? TGO, of course!
It could be that Joe is thinking of time being spent away from friends and fun summer activities than a reluctance or fear to have speech training. Maybe a talk with him about the importance of what he’s doing would be helpful. As the mom of 4, I always question myself and it eats me up. I’m not sure that parental self-doubt ever goes away.
Hey Denise, just want to encourage you to keep up with Isagenix…it works!! I have been doing it for three months.. I drink the shakes too, and I have nearly rid my craving of sweets and other junk/fried foods, and boy am I glad I did because it’s no fun when you literally feel addicted to that stuff!:) I think It’s great that you want to take joe for some awesome and intense speech therapy.. That works too!!:) safe travels
As a friend to a 32 year old with a stutter, I assure you he will Thank you when you are older!! Everyone tells him he wouldnt have a speech problem now if he would have had therapy when he was little! He was turned down a couple times for Officer School for the Air Force but after some speech therapy (at age 30) he finally got in! You are making the right choice! Maybe it wont take the whole 8 weeks to get him up to speed! Best wishes!!
As a Speech-Language Pathologist, I think you are doing the right thing for Joe. I have kids at school who hate coming to speech. It happens around 4th or 5th grade. But they keep working at it even though the grumble. The look of pride on their faces when they realize that they can say sounds they never could before and that their ready to graduate from speech makes all the fussing worth it. Sounds like you found a great therapist. Good for you! Also sounds like you are a great mom. Hang in there!
It is hard being a parent but it is the most rewarding job on the earth. Kids just do something for your soul
He will definitely be grateful to you in years to come. Just remember that tears today might bring smiles tomorrow or in your case, he may be upset about the therapy now but I’m sure he will be thankful in the future. I’m not a speech therapist but used to be a practicing physical therapist and saw some remarkable advancements in kids during therapy! Good luck to you and joe
From mama to mama…. My little boy Hunter was diagnosed with Severe Apraxia of Speech last February. He will by 7 years old next month. He has been in speech since he was 3 years old through our school system. He was still only 20% intelligible when he was tested last February. He was really struggling in school because he was not reading at his grade level due to inability to pronounce sounds which affects everything else. He plays football and baseball and other kids and coaches could not understand him. He was getting very insecure and his self esteem was suffering because kids would ask him if he was speaking Chinese or they would just stop talking to him because they couldn’t understand him. Pediatricians, teachers, speech teachers had let me down I felt because everyone kept saying “He will grow out of it”. Don’t worry, it will get better with time. This is not the case with Apraxia of Speech. We researched until we found the best Speech Therapists and programs available to us. We drive 3 hours round trip for two therapy sessions per week. We have had to pay for all the therapy out of pocket because our insurance refuses to pay it. He cried everytime we would go for the first couple of weeks and it broke my heart. I felt terrible for him because he knew people couldn’t understand him. It was so hard as a mother to see him struggle. I just wanted to fix it for him and of course, I couldn’t. Now, a year later, Hunter only has 4 sounds left to achieve. His intelligibility is over 90% intelligible. We have also been blessed with the Director of the school offering to give him reading assistance. I am so thankful for the people at his speech and learning program. Every person there has been a huge blessing to my family. Hunter’s speech therapist and Occupational Therapist love my son. They really care about him and that he is making progress and in his everyday life too. So, now looking back. I wouldn’t change a thing. I am so proud of my little boy and he is happier than he has ever been. He has so much confidence and self esteem. I just wanted to encourage you as a mother who has been through the process, it is worth every sacrifice.
I can’t wait till I have my Joe closer. I have been waiting for this day forever!
From mama to mama-My little boy Hunter was diagnosed with Severe Apraxia of Speech last February when he was 5. He has been in speech since he was 3 years old through our school system and he was only 20% intelligible. He was really struggling in school because he was not reading at his grade level due to inability to pronounce sounds which affects everything else. Other kids and adults could not understand him. He was getting very insecure and his self esteem was suffering because kids would ask him if he was speaking Chinese or they would just stop talking to him because they couldn’t understand him. Pediatricians, teachers, speech teachers had let me down I felt because everyone kept saying “He will grow out of it”. Don’t worry, it will get better with time and that is not the case with Apraxia of Speech. We researched until we found the best Speech Therapists and programs available to us. We drive 3 hours round trip for two therapy sessions per week. We have had to pay for all the therapy out of pocket because our insurance refuses to pay it. He cried every time we would go for the first couple of weeks and it broke my heart. I felt terrible for him because he knew people couldn’t understand him. It was so hard as a mother to see him struggle. I just wanted to fix it for him and of course, I couldn’t. Now, a year later, Hunter only has 4 sounds left to achieve and intelligibility is over 90% intelligible. We have also been blessed with the Director of the school offering to give him reading assistance. I am so thankful for the people at his speech and learning program and every person there has been a huge blessing to my family. Hunter’s speech therapist and Occupational Therapist love my son. They really care about him and that he is making progress and in his everyday life too. So, now looking back. I wouldn’t change a thing. I am so proud of my little boy and he is happier than he has ever been. He has so much confidence and self esteem. I just wanted to encourage you as a mother who has been through the process, it is worth every sacrifice.
My Asa is 5.5. For a long time we told ourselves his speech was just a little delayed, & he would catch up. That he was just a very tactile boy with a lot of energy
After a ton of testing, Asa was diagnosed ADHD. He struggles terribly with letter & number identification & now the word “dyslexic” is being thrown around as a possibility. He has come home one too many times in tears because someone called him dumb or stupid. I would & will do anything to help that baby. We are now doing intense weekly cognitive training & I meet with his teachers regularly about his progress. We have a long way to go, but you do whatever you have to, to set your babies up to feel good about themselves & be successful. You’re a good mama & it will all be worth it.
Oh, & good luck with the cleanse. Nothing worse than caffeine withdrawl
Parenting is full of tough choices! Go with your gut feeling. It is there to guide you. He might not thank you this summer, or even out loud, but I think he will be thankful someday! He might just be a little scared to fail, or even scared to succeed. But just follow that feeling & trust yourself!
That was so touching, the part about Joe<3 Thank you so much for sharing. Best wishes to you <3
I did that cleanse a year ago, and believe it or not you will feel soooo good when you are done. The shake days are hard, but you’ll get through it and it’ll be worth it!
I would say do it. My son is autistic and i would love for him to have 8 weeks with a speech therapist. Of course- you will miss him- but he will be better for it in the end. Being a parent is so hard. I often wonder, how am I supposed to have all of the answers- truth is- I rarely do- go with your gut feeling- that is my advice. And give Joe a big hug- they grow so fast!
What would Joe want for you? If he saw you struggling and knew some way to help improve life for you- I’m sure he would do it too. As a parent, you need to trust your heart and guide your child through life in ways that help him grow into his full potential. Don’t second guess what your heart tell you is right!! (Now to remember this with Paisley)
Blessing!! Pamela
The hardest part of parenting is knowing that you have to make the best decision you can in that very moment and knowing that it might or might not be the right one. I don’t know a single parent that hasn’t at one time or another struggled with that. Believe in yourself and believe that you are Joe’s advocate. At the end of the day, you can only do the best with what you have. I’ll be thinking of you guys and wishing only the best.
i have gone through the same inner turmoil with my son… all sorts of therapies.
and when we find one that works, it’s full steam ahead.
trust your gut. you’re doing the right thing
Denise, my background is OT and you are doing the right thing with Joe, don’t let anyone make you question yourself! Of course he doesn’t want to go……it’s going to be hard work, but it will pay off. Children do not have the life experience that we have and he is unable to know and understand what life at 16 will be like when it is difficult for people to understand him. Stick with your plan and listen to your gut.
Denise, as a parent, I know more than any other mom about what is right for my child’s body, mind and soul. At least now. My job is to give her a solid base so that she can soar on her own when the time comes. She stutters so we are having similar speech issues. I’ve been told she may outgrow it so I’m giving her until age 9 to do so. If by then she has not, then she will start therapy. Why? Because it is my job to prepare her for the world, which Includes interacting in society, and that includes being able to communicate clearly. Will she want it? Probably not, but when she lands her dream job, gives her acceptance speech for being elected president or her thank you speech for winning the Oscar, she will be happy about it. Our job as parents is to raise future independent contributors to society. We raise future parents, designers, doctors and everything else. We can love them all we can, but we’ve failed if we’ve not given them all they need to succeed. I always tell my girls, “you will not always get everything you want, but I will do everything I can to give you what you need.” and that is exactly what you are doing for Joe.
All you can do as parents is the best you can do!!! And always listen to those gut instincts!! It’s our motherly right! So many parents have their opinions and never have walked a day in the other persons shoes. You do what is best for Joe….because in the end he will see JUST HOW MUCH you cared about him and he’ll thank you later(or even now;-) When you question yourself too much you loose sight of the sole purpose of a choice or decision. AND in this case….it is important to give our kids the tools for self confidence! I’m sure it is frustrating for him too. I bet he will love that 8 weeks, walk away with a new pride in himself, and maybe even lifelong friendships.
Aw, Denise…I feel for you, trying to do the right thing for Joe. I do think you are right trying to get him help. My oldest son is in eighth grade and is still in speech. His issue is the letter “R”. Honestly, I don’t know if he will ever get it. I think it’s going to take a girl that he likes to say something then he will make an effort.
Anyway, you are his mother and only you can make the right choice…
My parents just paid a visit and when they did, they brought along a big box of home movies – pretty much their only connection of their grandkids for years as we raised them overseas – thanks Uncle Sam! ; )
Anyway – I popped one after another in the VCR the other night and my husband and I just watched and shook our heads as we watched our oldest son (now 20) as a 1 year old, as a 2 year old – all the way up to about 5… and we could NOT understand a word… or better yet… a sound he was making. Back then… I understood every grunt or moan. Now… not a single thing.
He was my first and I did not realize. I remember a cautious friend – an educator – who tip toed around the subject with me when my son was somewhere between his second and third birthday. Wow… I thought how horrid a parent I was that I never noticed. I thanked my friend for making me see the speech problem. Then I immediately worked to have my son enrolled in Speech Therapy. He started in California, moved to Hawaii and several other places. My first thought with each move was the availability of good speech therapy.
A few years later, all three of my children were receiving daily therapy for major speech delays. They were all put through a ton of medical testing – all came back inconclusive. No answers… so we simply continued speech therapy… daily. It was a drag for the kids. They did not like being pulled out of class… being labeled… but I insisted and they continued. It took years of hard work … and all 3 of my older kids have “graduated” from speech therapy and are honor students – 2 in college and 1 in high school. My oldest, who had the worst speech issues, is a Journalism Major in College and has pretty near perfect speech – and LOVES to talk!!! LOVES to talk back! hahaha!
We had moved on and pretty much forgotten about the long road to that perfect speech until I saw the home videos last week…. what a long long road it was!
Now I read your post and it all comes back again. I have so been there!
I say do what it takes now – while he is young – he will so appreciate it when he is older. And like one of the comments says… give him a hug now as you will wake up soon and he will be 20!
Parenting is the hardest and the best job! Really not designed for 1…so good thing you two will wade through this and figure out what your son will thank you for later! P.S. if you haven’t heard lately…your clothes are the cutest!
Oh this made my heart break! If Joe ever needs a buddy to talk to, my son Tanner is 16 and went through the speech issues. Middle school is so hard for kids and then to be “different” it is TORTURE! You are doing the right thing. He will thank you later, I promise. You can ask my son. Tanner couldn’t say his R’s. You are a wonderful mom and the fact that you are taking 1 month and doing something to help him is inspiring. Keep it up. xoxo
Thank you for sharing … so very touching … brought tears to my eyes. As a mom myself, I have no doubt whatsoever that you’re doing the right thing … Joe is so lucky to have you as his mama.
Love blogs like these. They are few and far between but when they do happen it brings back days of you and Sam blogging about what tunes were on the radio while you two were cutting fabric. Maybe it can happen again…every once in a blue moon? As an older sister of someone who has speech issues due to a stroke I know what you are trying to say. It can be very frustrating at times. I remember when I was younger and my mom thought it would be best for me to do something (that I didn’t want to do) I never understood why. As an adult I find myself saying if I just should have just listened to my mom and done what she thought was best. Moms know what’s best. Joe may not understand now but when he is older he will be thanking you instead of saying if I just would have listened to mom.
You’re makimg a good, but understandably difficult, decision. Don’t second guess yourself Denise. Trust your intuition and go with it. Hugs to you!
Denise- As a mom with a 12 year old with autism, I completely understand your anguish. However, I have always told myself to go with my gut motherly instinct. So, I encourage you not to doubt your instinct. You are Joe’s biggest advocate! I am also a teacher(5th grade and 10/11 year olds). You are doing the right thing. That doesn’t make it any easier but keep the end in sight. The earlier delays are treated the better the outcome:)
Michelle
Denise, I’m sure that mom who texted you was well meaning, but the fact is that as parents we do know what’s best for our children even if the child doesn’t want to do something. Here’s an analogy: Many kids don’t want to brush there teeth, but we make them. If we didn’t, they would end up with tooth decay. Heck, many kids don’t want to go to school. Imagine if we listened to what our kids truly wanted with that! The important thing is that you will be there with Joe
ANd you’re not trying to change him, you’re trying to improve his quality of life. Joe can’t possibly know at this age, how important this will be. Just make sure there’s no pressure and he has fun while your up North and everything will work out fine:)
What a great bunch of MOMS that have left comments! They are so right! Always remember YOU are his mom and no one has his back like you. You have the God given instinct for this child like no one else. Remember when he was a baby and you would wake up at night and two minutes later he would wake up? Only a mom knows! Do whats in that mothers heart of yours. It is a love like none other on earth. Be confident, you will do whats best for your beloved.
Denise,
Don’t be so hard on yourself! Being a mom is the hardest job. That is except for that ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC and AMAZING CLOTHING COMPANY; MJC! I am a mom to 3 of the most wonderful children ages 17,15 and 4. Yes, I know there is a HUGE gap in there. My oldest son had a small speech problem. He would pronounce his F’s as D’s. He was also talking about is doot (foot) or dinger (finger). One day he even asked for a dourwheeler (4-wheeler). It was cute to a certain point. I know that some kids can be cruel. I did not want my child to be teased or made fun of. I had to seek help for him. It wasn’t something that he wanted to do at the time. He is now 17 years old. I know now that I made the right decision for him! He would also agree.
Hang in there. I know that Joe will thank you!
Hugs!
Amy Burke
You answered it yourself at the end – he is 10 – you are the responsible parent that loves him dearly! Go – have therapy and enjoy every moment you can!
You answered it yourself at the end – he is 10 – you are the responsible parent that loves him dearly! Go – have therapy and enjoy every moment you can!
Denise, Thanks for your candid post. You are Joe’s parent and you know what is best for him. No one looks forward to going to therapy it is HARD. You are trying to help him be the BEST he can in life so later if he still has mispronounciations you will KNOW you did everything in your power to help him. With your guidance he will meet his MAXIMUM potential whatever it may be.
Awwww, I miss you blogging just about family and random stuff. And sweet Joe, he’ll thank you later in life. It’s hard when kids have their own opinion and you have to pull the mom card. Especially at this age… they are stuck between being a little kid and a teen. They THINK they can make decisions, when really, they can’t. But of course they don’t see it. Grace wanted to enroll in a Public Safety Academy for 6th grade… it’s paramilitary training and I just don’t see my free spirited girl in such an environment. All she saw was kids doing physical training in the mud, which looks like heaven to her RIGHT NOW. When I told her no, she stormed off in good tween manners yelling how life was unfair etc. But I know in my heart that I made the right decision.
I think when our children are young we may not always make a decision that they like but we always try to make the decision that is best. Go with your heart your right he will thank you later.
Isogentics. Girl. I tried the cooler cleanse and only made it a day and a half. My head was KILLING me. I broke. Awesome
Denise – great book written by my dad (Mark Cooper) called Bound and Determined. He speaks all over but he overcame a learning disability growing up – and also championed and advocated for his son (my brother who is now a missionary in Kenya) who had a disability (Chiari Malformation). I am biased because my dad is my hero but this book is eye opening and remarkable – a must read for any parent who is encouraging and advocating for a child with any kind of disability.
I totally feel for you Denise. It’s hard as parents to make decisions for our kids when they don’t mesh with what our kids want. But you are doing what’s best for Joe. My son is 9 and just got a top and bottom retainer to help straighten his bite. He’s never had speech difficulties, but has a hard time talking with his retainers in. He came home from school the first day in tears because kids were teasing him ;-( He doesn’t want to wear them to school anymore. But I have to make him.
Your so right about those list. I found myself buying north face coats for 2 of my boys last night.. I mean it’s March and I am buying for Dec.
Been in hospital bad bad bad
Diamond fell out of ring. Yep it’s gone.
one of the kids broke my new glasses and no not covered for replacement.
As for Joe, I can’t see how anyone (making an effort to help there child) can be wrong. Your not trying to Change him, only help him.
I deal with this a lot to, why do I correct Chance when he calls a fish a bitch? Well it’s a fish. His ducks sound more like sucks. I know he can speak better ( he just needs that nudge) why am I on to him all the time to wear his eye patch? B/c I want him to keep as much of his sight as possible. I love him I want only the best. – YOU will not regret anything u do to help your son. MY oldest I stayed on to for this and that and he’s such a good boy. He’s polite, smart, has a great education and well if he could manage money and actually be more normal than smart, he would be perfect (at least to me) Well shoot all my kids are….. MY dd Karlee turns 8 today and she ask me mom will I get to wear my Matilda Jane forever? Then she ask me if she could she wear her new blue dress for her B’day to school.. The norma I paid 200.00 for… With a lump in my throat she has it laid out and ready to wear. Hope the headache’s go away. I have been getting the botox injections for migraines and I would have never imagine anything that worked so well. Night!
Trust your instincts…you’re totally right! Joe will def thank you in the long run! We’re thinking of you…everything will be alright!
As a pediatric OT, I say kudos to you for continuing to work on the speech! That’s great. It is never easy and continuing on working on ways to make it fun for him is the biggest hurdle, but I’m sure that you are going to be in good hands. Are you going to Wisconsin? I know that there are some fabulous people up there! Even trying speech activities after swimming or running for him could help to improve speech production. Also, keep up the work on the diet coke. I gave it up 4 weeks ago and I have to say that in the beginning – it was awful!! Now, I feel great. I have actually lost some weight, too, which shocks me! Trying to fit into that spearmint dress this summer -that’s my goal – ha!! Keep up the great work. I love MJC!
this brought tears to my eyes. i can totally relate to your inner struggle as a mother to do the right thing for your child. i have 4 kids, my oldest deals w/ ADHD & my 2nd oldest was a preemie & has some minor developmental delays. both are completely different & present us w/ challenges to face & decisions to make on a weekly basis. i am constantly second guessing myself & in the end i think we just need to remember that there may not be a right or wrong answer. we do what we think is best w/ all the love behind it that a parent can have & whatever the outcome we will face that as it comes! it is very obvious to me how much you love your boys & even if your son does not like the decision now, he will look back & know & feel the love w/ which it was made!
Thank you guys for all the great insights. I’m going with my gut and we are devoting this summer to speech.